jubilant.

purple television corruption feels totally hopeless in everything that you have given maybe baby we could take everything off even the mask to impress but then again would you be magnetised towards each other if it came off in due time we all know opaque breaths can make you dead faster better stronger than the average but that is just above average so would that be enough for you who desires to be the fastest strongest betterest from the everyone that is everyone even though you know you might end up solo and then again maybe the things that you need arent needed to be shared with everyone else such that you could just live amongst yourself but then again can you handle it without having anyone around for any company and then maybe we can call it quits again because all you have time for is to blame for something that you blamed someone so long ago so you're no better than anyone else but then again the delusion comes so strongly that everyone seems POSITIVE when the cake is in the oven so maybe all you need is all that you want and then you can really call it quits because they have and they wont change their mind now no matter what you do cos u can't do anything anymore and that sucks because you know you can make others so easily and so skimmingly and perhaps that is the sort that would be perfect for you because everyone just eats your skin and then you start to leave and then you keep dropping hints that you wanna go back to the dark night but then again you couldn't because you have handcuffs already and then what happens when you dream about yourself and you know its not possible because what the hell is that about so that you really aren't that familiar with yourself such that you wake up without feeling yourself and then you just couldn't show it to anyone because you don't feel like you're in you're own body and then the magic ends,the music stops and you go off to find another music to easily find like the whole world is your HMV with a snap of your fingertips much people would recommend which music you would like to listen to now or such that the whole sea is your fishtank where you just dip your hand and you can get a pretty fish or you could go to Basheer and everything for you is just labellised to your picking and then you move along and they stay behind and they feel like they're stuck in between and then they know that they have to move along too unless the cleaners come and sweep you up and then you end the lights with regrets within your mind.

i hope i don't remember what this means by next year.

horoscoke.

control=0.9

i'm losing it,brotha.

fragility.

i think i understand myself a little better.

just a certain aspect.






just a small little part in my..hut.

flashforward.

when all you know about growing up is getting beaten and fighting.

and all you'll ever be will be to fight.
fight for the ones who taught you.
the ones that taught you who to protect.
and just fight.

until we die.
then what purpose will you have.
find it,before it

sanserlaus.

disposable.

i.am.replaceable.

opposite poles.

no matter how much u run,trying to achieve something else.

something you have known all along will be the end product.
be prepared sanserlau.that 4dimensional shelter is your future.

of farewells.

sneaking into pictures,smilings,rowdy.

i wanted to send them off with smiles to show that i'm a big boy now.
that they don't need to worry.
that i'd take care of my sister.
that i'd stay out of trouble,because i've caused trouble for the past 20 years.
that i'd be there to receive them when they come back.
big smiles and hugs for my mother,making her laugh my stupid antics in front of relatives.
taking pictures.
pictures.

my dad hugged me.
for the first time that i can remember.
he's not that sort of man.much stoutness,mucho gusto.
he definitely has hugged me before,only when i cant remember that sorta age thingy.
it made me feel.alone.
it's like he's leaving.

i'm used to mom hugging me and me hugging her.
but this time she hugged my sis and bro naturally.
with me,it seemed like a little awkward.
i dont know how to describe it.
its not like she doesnt want to hug me,it just didnt feel natural.

I KNOW THEY'RE COMING BACK.
so why.

i didn't cry.my sister did.i think my brother did too.