of farewells.

sneaking into pictures,smilings,rowdy.

i wanted to send them off with smiles to show that i'm a big boy now.
that they don't need to worry.
that i'd take care of my sister.
that i'd stay out of trouble,because i've caused trouble for the past 20 years.
that i'd be there to receive them when they come back.
big smiles and hugs for my mother,making her laugh my stupid antics in front of relatives.
taking pictures.
pictures.

my dad hugged me.
for the first time that i can remember.
he's not that sort of man.much stoutness,mucho gusto.
he definitely has hugged me before,only when i cant remember that sorta age thingy.
it made me feel.alone.
it's like he's leaving.

i'm used to mom hugging me and me hugging her.
but this time she hugged my sis and bro naturally.
with me,it seemed like a little awkward.
i dont know how to describe it.
its not like she doesnt want to hug me,it just didnt feel natural.

I KNOW THEY'RE COMING BACK.
so why.

i didn't cry.my sister did.i think my brother did too.